CHAPTER ONE

It was a beautiful clear fall evening in 1994. I was driving down a rural road in lower Fairfield County, Connecticut. On any other day, it would have been a picture perfect evening. Beside me, a nine year old boy sat. In the midst of all this beauty, the daunting task of moving a child to his 11th foster home was before me. I began to speak as the radio quietly played in the background. The best communication with children takes place while driving but on this day, I’d be the one doing most of the talking. As I began this all too familiar dialogue; the one where I try and explain why another home is necessary at this time, the heavy words were met with silence. Although child welfare social workers continuously try and find “just the right words” to break the bad news, the words never seem to be there. How can we be part of a system, which seems to do more harm than good? Letting a few minutes quietly pass, I turned and asked, “Do you have any questions about what I said?” With barely a thought he replied, “Yeah, who can catch the moon?” At that moment, my personal belief about resiliency in children rang true. In my world, his life was falling apart but in his world, life carried on as usual. I swallowed hard and continued driving, trying desperately to make sense of his response. The idea to write a book was born from this brief life changing experience yet scribing out the thoughts did not happen as quickly. This book is an attempt to capture and share the many experiences I’ve had as part of the child welfare system. They have shaped who I am today-both personally and professionally-because the two are simply not mutually exclusive.